Collapse with Recovery28 May 2014 by Jennifer Ables (Edited by Dr. L S Spedding
Opening Comment
In this piece health practitioner Jennifer Ables offers her personal experience that is valuable for all of us – as individuals whether women or men – who are seeking to balance our responsibilities. As female professionals we should understand the importance of taking stock of our lives on a regular basis in order to have the opportunity to be grateful for our lives and the potential to be realized to be happy and healthy both in our professional and personal circumstances. Our health is the key to much of our life fulfillment as Jennifer’s story also demonstrates. We invite any comment or submission from readers by emailing me at: [email protected]
Our Relationship with Ourselves – Self Love, Self Care, Health & the Body
When one thinks of the topic of Self Love, what comes to mind? Possibly memories of self neglect and thoughts of “I should”, or maybe we draw a blank as to how to begin to do that. It seems something as important to our health and happiness as self love and care is quite foreign and not easily practiced by the majority. It is something I’ve definitely struggled with. I am still not an expert on this, but am I trying to understand its role and importance in our lives as women.
Self care may be a more relatable term – care implies a “doing”. To feed and bathe oneself, etc. A caring for, rather than self love, a state of being. Loving oneself without an action word may be harder for the mind to understand. Have you ever defined for yourself what it would look like if you completely loved and cared for yourself? What habits would you have, which ones would you change?
In order to cultivate healthy self image as women, we may find ourselves working against what society presents as desirable and successful. It is important to build a strong internal definition rather than living up to the world’s expectations. It means being aware of our own needs, and listening to and honoring those needs. Treating our own thoughts and feelings as valid and truthful. And that our treatment of ourselves teaches others how to treat us.
All of this centers around developing a rapport with ourselves; our bodies. Developing intuition about our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs. Getting in touch with our own expectations. Treating our own notions as valid and truthful.
Being a single mother of two teenagers with special health needs has forced me to see the importance of self care. If I do not put that very important priority in the framework of our lives, things get out of balance and no one gets what they need. My personal experience early on was not one of wellness, and health became an important focal point. I learned the importance of healthy diet and lifestyle choices out of necessity to function.
Meanwhile, as a Natural Health Practitioner, I see so many others that do not realize the consequences of putting themselves last or not taking responsibility for their health.
Exhaustion and Collapse – My Experience
My most recent experience and lesson I want to share with you. I had a HUGE health crisis, even though I was eating right, taking my vitamins, exercising… But, I had forgotten an important piece of the equation: listening to and honoring my body. Yes, my stress level was extremely high… but I could handle it, right? Just keep going. Power through.
I crashed hard. My body rebelled in a big way and I collapsed, mostly from exhaustion. My body stopped doing what I told it to do. I was confined to bed for three months, dependent on others for care as I recovered. And I learned some wonderfully important things. I learned that one absolutely cannot compromise when it comes to health. That once it is gone, it is gone. And it can take a lot of work to rebuild. It is important to protect and guard your health. To know your limits and stay within them is a form of self love. Balance is so important. One cannot rob energy from the body and think it will gain anything in the long run. It seems that no amount of imbalance creates the balanced life I want to live.
The second thing I learned was a really beautiful and easier lesson about doing vs being. How “doing” involves chasing after life, after dreams, wants, or after others. And how “being” allows the positive or goodness to flow to you. And that your joy could attract this goodness like a magnet. Being goodness rather than seeking it. Just being in a space of joy, gratitude, being present seemed more powerful than all the doing. Those who know me well know I don’t sit still for long, and “being” was a whole new concept. Not even being able to “do” much of anything in poor health. I could do nothing but Be.
I hope this account helps others not make the mistake I did of taking health for granted, and reminds us to find wonderful ways to engage in self care.
A Practice for Self Care
So, to make sure we know what we need. How to assess this? Here is a simple check-in you can do for yourself daily, which is: P.E.M.S. – Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual.
Check in with each part of yourself – How is the body? What does it need? Might need exercise, rest, more water, etc. How are the emotions? What do I need? Time with friends, journaling, creativity etc. How is the mind today? What does it need? Maybe the answer is quiet, meditation time, or a book. How am I feeling spiritually? Do I feel connected, grateful? What do I need? Engage in practices, meditation, time in nature, etc. When you find what your needs are, you can write them on your calendar and incorporate them into your day. #1 priority? Schedule in the down-time. Maybe put that in first.
Recovery
My recovery was a relatively quick one, all things considered, for which I am extremely grateful. I spent a month with family in the beginning, totally dependent on their care. There was a lot of assistance and dedication from friends, family and even strangers. I worked with natural and spiritual healers on all aspects of health to further my understanding of what had occurred and how to help the body regain balance. I was diligent about rest, careful not to overdo. There was a daily check-in to the status of health and actively pursuing a healing regime. My regime included fun, exercise, healthy food, pure water, sunshine, supplements and rest. When I say rest, this could mean a lot of things, so to me this meant literal physical rest, mental rest, and resting the attitudes I held about life, suspending any need to do anything in particular. It countered everything we are seemingly taught as the recipe for success. I took it easy, and liked it so much that I decided maybe I would continue to take it easy indefinitely.
I was elated once I could do small things I used to take for granted, such as grocery shop, or walk in town with my son. These were precious and exciting moments, momentous achievements that I have attributed to Grace, a Higher Energy or Source. I am far less stressed and much happier now. The priority for my days is based more on what truly matters to me, rather than what must get done. I am in love with life and grateful for the opportunities it brings. My hope is that all people – not only professional women but all human beings whoever they may be or seek to be – find their joy and true pace in life.
Opening Comment
In this piece health practitioner Jennifer Ables offers her personal experience that is valuable for all of us – as individuals whether women or men – who are seeking to balance our responsibilities. As female professionals we should understand the importance of taking stock of our lives on a regular basis in order to have the opportunity to be grateful for our lives and the potential to be realized to be happy and healthy both in our professional and personal circumstances. Our health is the key to much of our life fulfillment as Jennifer’s story also demonstrates. We invite any comment or submission from readers by emailing me at: [email protected]
Our Relationship with Ourselves – Self Love, Self Care, Health & the Body
When one thinks of the topic of Self Love, what comes to mind? Possibly memories of self neglect and thoughts of “I should”, or maybe we draw a blank as to how to begin to do that. It seems something as important to our health and happiness as self love and care is quite foreign and not easily practiced by the majority. It is something I’ve definitely struggled with. I am still not an expert on this, but am I trying to understand its role and importance in our lives as women.
Self care may be a more relatable term – care implies a “doing”. To feed and bathe oneself, etc. A caring for, rather than self love, a state of being. Loving oneself without an action word may be harder for the mind to understand. Have you ever defined for yourself what it would look like if you completely loved and cared for yourself? What habits would you have, which ones would you change?
In order to cultivate healthy self image as women, we may find ourselves working against what society presents as desirable and successful. It is important to build a strong internal definition rather than living up to the world’s expectations. It means being aware of our own needs, and listening to and honoring those needs. Treating our own thoughts and feelings as valid and truthful. And that our treatment of ourselves teaches others how to treat us.
All of this centers around developing a rapport with ourselves; our bodies. Developing intuition about our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs. Getting in touch with our own expectations. Treating our own notions as valid and truthful.
Being a single mother of two teenagers with special health needs has forced me to see the importance of self care. If I do not put that very important priority in the framework of our lives, things get out of balance and no one gets what they need. My personal experience early on was not one of wellness, and health became an important focal point. I learned the importance of healthy diet and lifestyle choices out of necessity to function.
Meanwhile, as a Natural Health Practitioner, I see so many others that do not realize the consequences of putting themselves last or not taking responsibility for their health.
Exhaustion and Collapse – My Experience
My most recent experience and lesson I want to share with you. I had a HUGE health crisis, even though I was eating right, taking my vitamins, exercising… But, I had forgotten an important piece of the equation: listening to and honoring my body. Yes, my stress level was extremely high… but I could handle it, right? Just keep going. Power through.
I crashed hard. My body rebelled in a big way and I collapsed, mostly from exhaustion. My body stopped doing what I told it to do. I was confined to bed for three months, dependent on others for care as I recovered. And I learned some wonderfully important things. I learned that one absolutely cannot compromise when it comes to health. That once it is gone, it is gone. And it can take a lot of work to rebuild. It is important to protect and guard your health. To know your limits and stay within them is a form of self love. Balance is so important. One cannot rob energy from the body and think it will gain anything in the long run. It seems that no amount of imbalance creates the balanced life I want to live.
The second thing I learned was a really beautiful and easier lesson about doing vs being. How “doing” involves chasing after life, after dreams, wants, or after others. And how “being” allows the positive or goodness to flow to you. And that your joy could attract this goodness like a magnet. Being goodness rather than seeking it. Just being in a space of joy, gratitude, being present seemed more powerful than all the doing. Those who know me well know I don’t sit still for long, and “being” was a whole new concept. Not even being able to “do” much of anything in poor health. I could do nothing but Be.
I hope this account helps others not make the mistake I did of taking health for granted, and reminds us to find wonderful ways to engage in self care.
A Practice for Self Care
So, to make sure we know what we need. How to assess this? Here is a simple check-in you can do for yourself daily, which is: P.E.M.S. – Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual.
Check in with each part of yourself – How is the body? What does it need? Might need exercise, rest, more water, etc. How are the emotions? What do I need? Time with friends, journaling, creativity etc. How is the mind today? What does it need? Maybe the answer is quiet, meditation time, or a book. How am I feeling spiritually? Do I feel connected, grateful? What do I need? Engage in practices, meditation, time in nature, etc. When you find what your needs are, you can write them on your calendar and incorporate them into your day. #1 priority? Schedule in the down-time. Maybe put that in first.
Recovery
My recovery was a relatively quick one, all things considered, for which I am extremely grateful. I spent a month with family in the beginning, totally dependent on their care. There was a lot of assistance and dedication from friends, family and even strangers. I worked with natural and spiritual healers on all aspects of health to further my understanding of what had occurred and how to help the body regain balance. I was diligent about rest, careful not to overdo. There was a daily check-in to the status of health and actively pursuing a healing regime. My regime included fun, exercise, healthy food, pure water, sunshine, supplements and rest. When I say rest, this could mean a lot of things, so to me this meant literal physical rest, mental rest, and resting the attitudes I held about life, suspending any need to do anything in particular. It countered everything we are seemingly taught as the recipe for success. I took it easy, and liked it so much that I decided maybe I would continue to take it easy indefinitely.
I was elated once I could do small things I used to take for granted, such as grocery shop, or walk in town with my son. These were precious and exciting moments, momentous achievements that I have attributed to Grace, a Higher Energy or Source. I am far less stressed and much happier now. The priority for my days is based more on what truly matters to me, rather than what must get done. I am in love with life and grateful for the opportunities it brings. My hope is that all people – not only professional women but all human beings whoever they may be or seek to be – find their joy and true pace in life.